**A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life

Nahh, the topic is quite BIG to me. I mean, do i really satisfy? Nope. I am not satisfy yet. There's so much more to achieve. There's a dream and a wish that i hope to get. Its not about wealth or power or position or even a popularity..its about HAPPINESS. All i need to achieve that happiness i wanted are respect, hard work and confidence! I respect my surrounding, i work harder and confident enough to stand out. Sound easy right? But, its not. When i can do all the three i mentioned then i'll be satisfy ;D.

Life is not all about how big your house, or how fancy your car or how many billion you have in a bank or which college you further your study. Many of us are not satisfied with what we already have. They will try to find what makes them happy but we never know only moderate who leads us on intrinsic satisfaction. Trust me.

I'm not really into horoscope thingy so i don't know too much about that. But at some points, its quite interesting juga. Percaya atau tidak its depend la ba kan? You know your true self better than other. There's nothing wrong to refer the horoscope if you want, maybe you'll discover something that you don't know about yourself :D Well, what i'm going to say is based on what my friends told me about me. Sometimes, apa yang orang lain nampak tidak kita ketahui sebenarnya. That is why, kita perlu ambil kira pendapat orang lain tentang character kita.

"Kau sangat tenang!'' Okay, i heard this several times. They said that i never looked like someone with problems. And my bestfriend said that i killed all the hard times, all the sadness and frustration with SMILING. I admit this. I maybe cried or complained how hard my life was but its never took a day, i managed to smile again. And i realized these since i know how to value my surroundings. And hey! senyum kan petua awet muda..hehe..senyum laa selalu. Trust me, when you smile over your problems, it's giving you a peace at heart. Bila hati tenang then senang laa buat decisions, kan? *smiling*

"You are such a crybaby!" Hmmmm, yang ni memang kelemahan sa. I easily shed a tears..huhu..nampak sangat lemahkan? But i can't help it. I cried whenever people talked to me with high tone especially my dad. Tapi bukan semua laa, depends on situation juga. Kalu sikit2 pun mo nangis then i really have a problems..hekhekhek..And, i cried a lot bila tinguk cerita sedih sedih..hehe..tapi sa rasa semua orang memang begitu kan? Mostly, bila tinguk drama korea..ready2 ja laa tissue berkotak-kotak.. ;p *untung tokeh tissue..*

"Hipokritnya kau!'' Aduiiii...kejam sangat laa kau..! But i admit this too >.< Pretending that you like that person just not to hurt them pun dikategorikan sebagai hipokrit ka? Kalu iya then sa memang hipokrit. huhu..I'm not really proud of this tapi bila kita nilai positif side dia memang la ada baiknya juga. We intended not to buat dia terasa or buat dia malu so dengan selambanya mengiyakan saja apa yang dia buat or cakap padahal dalam hati i menghamun..hehe..nda laaa sampai begitu. I sebal jerrr...:D

"You're insecure and jealousy!" I think many pisces(apa yang sa namapk laa di kalangan kawan2 yang berbintang ikan kembar) can be insecure which can lead to jealousy. I mean, pisces are prone to low self esteem which tends to co-occur with insecurity. And i think jealousy stems from insecurity… so, perhaps? haha..tapi tahap ke'jealous'an itu masih boleh sa control baa and itu normal.hehe..



Pisceans possess a gentle, patient, malleable nature. They have many generous qualities and are friendly, good natured, kind and compassionate, sensitive to the feelings of those around them and respond with the utmost sympathy and tact to any suffering they encounter. They are deservedly popular with all kinds of people, partly because their easygoing, affectionate, submissive natures offer no threat or challenge to stronger and more exuberant characters. They accept the people around them and the circumstances in which they find themselves rather than trying to adapt them to suit themselves, and they patiently wait for problems to sort themselves out rather than take the initiative in solving them. They are more readily concerned with the problems of others than with their own.  Read More Here .

30 interesting facts about me? Weee, i lovesssssssssssss this topic..hehehe..


#1. My original name is Lucy. My mom told me that she named me Lucy but the nurse heard it wrong and wrote Nancy..
#2. I admired a boy when i was in Kindergarten..hehe
#3. My first kiss was stolen when i was in primary 1. Urghhhhhh..
#4. I punched my class monitor on his face and he lost his teeth..A day after, he transferred to another school in Kota Belud...hahaha..ganasnya sa kan? :D
#5. I got my first love letter when i was in primary 6. He was soooo cute (^__^)
#6. I got a secret admired when i was in form 1 and he was my classmate.. He will leave a letter on my desk everyday.
#7. I fought with girlfriend when i was in form 2..siap teriak-teriak lagi di koridor sekolah..nasib laa nda betarik rambut..hehe..
#8. I admire a guy next door when i was in form 4 tapi dia dah ada girlfriend time tu and she was my bestfriend..uhuuuu...frust juga laa. :((
#9. My first job was a part-time waitress and i was only 16. And time tu laa sa berkenalan dengan encik tunang sa sekarang..heeeeee
#10. I fell in love when i was 17 (first love i guess..) and he dumped me on my 20th birthday..huhu..

Hello buddies :D

Okey, don't you think the title sounds like a suicide thing? Well, i once have had this kind of thought (when i was a kid ). When my mom scolded me and there's nobody i can turns to, since my brother also mad at me i talked to my mom like these..'biarlaa, sa p bunuh diri ni.sa p minum tu racun'...

Thinking back on this really embarrassed me. Why on earth i talked like that? Ever since i said that to my mom, she never scolded me anymore in her usual. She talked to me differently and she treated me more gentle. She was of course really afraid of what i maybe do to myself but the truth is i didn't have much guts to do as i've told her. It was such a childish and stupid way of getting her attention and stop scolding me that time. Right now, i tried to understand what was her feelings on the time. HURTS. I'm really sure about this. She maybe thinking of why such a little girl would say like that. I'm just 9 years old that time and i still don't know what life really is. It was my mistakes anyway but why i have to talk like that?!

I'm not that proud of what i've done to my mom and the regrets of hurting her that way remains forever. As i've grown up enough now and able to think what is right and wrong, that was the most regretful thing i ever done to my mom. If not by her patience towards me, i'll not have the chance to live a beautiful life just like what i have now. Thank you mom. I will keep pray for you and please watch me from above.

So dear readers, no matter how hard and difficult life you have and no matter how bad peoples and surround treated you never ever do a stupid things to end your own life. Cakap biar BERLAPIK, berfikir and bertindaklah secara rasional.

p/s : May your soul rest in peace mom. Always miss you.

Religion. It's quite sensitive to talk about, am i right? I'm wondering if it's necessary to write about this. It's probably an interesting topic to share with other but i'm not brave enough to write much.

Whatever religion you are, i believe there's no religion taught us a bad thing. Human is the one whom making things wrong. Sometimes, public will blame others religion because of their wrong doing. Why? Mentality yang seperti itu harus di ubah. Janganlah menyalahkan agama itu sekiranya mereka yang berlainan agama berselisih faham. Kadang pula, agama di politikkan. Sungguh. Sungguh amat kecewa.

Respect others religion and belief so they will do the same thing.

p/s : I believe in God, i love my church.

Blessed Sunday peeps :))

I really don't have an ideas right now..can i just pass on this?heeee...Soon will be update la kan?buli ka? I'm not in good mood..banyak perkara datang menganggu, hati nda tenang..sedih pun ada. mo nangis sj inda..

p/s : keluar tajuk.hehe..see you tomorrow guys.good night.xoxo

Today, i'd start to blog the 30days challenges topic. I suppose to begin yesterday but i am too tired even just to switch on my lappy. I went to KK yesterday, accompanied my brother and his fiancee for some matters. Weee, happy for them. Finally, it's been approved. Boleh laa i tumpang keta baru..hehe..

Okey, moving on. My current relationship? Hmmm, i've posted an entry about this. Not the same title but still related. You can check  Here & Here  :D The story is not finish yet so what if i continue it here?

On May 2010, after 1 month we been friend in Facebook, he came back to Sabah for a holiday. He planned to meet me but i postponed it as i am too busy with my final exams. On June, 4 days before his return to KL i decided to met him. Just imagine, we never meet for 10 years but he still recognize me even i've been growwwwwwww big..tehehee..just imagine how big i am. :D Dulu-dulu, sa sangat slim..Will post a pic later.

After sesi jejak kasih for a while, he drove straight to 1Borneo. Sampai sana, binggung ni. Tak tau apa mo buat. Movies also teda yang best time tu so we changed our plans. We went to Tg Aru beach and hava a dinner [our 1st time eating together], cerita-cerita pasal kisah lalu, jalan-jalan kira pasir [my fav]..and after that he drove me home. 5 minutes later, i texted him 'i miss you already'. hahhaa..i really do. And i don't know why.

Times goes by, he went back to KL and me back to my routines. Studies, part-time jobs, exams. Our friendship also blooming with times. Beautifully. Until the day we declared as a couple [25 July 2010]. Happy? Yupp. And our story begin. He proposed and we got engaged [28 Dec 2011]. Current relationship? I'm happily taken.Weeee....

My lappy kinda mogok tonight..its running too slow and hang several times. Really spoiled my mood...ngrrrr..Bapa also keep nagging about me yang tidur makan saja di rumah kasi habis beras :( Bukan senang baa mau cari kerja..Kalu setakat gaji 400 - 500 bucks adalah..memang berlambak but alang-alang also ba that. Inda cukup pun bikin bayar bil. Mr Fiance also x mo faham situasi. Sudah sa stress tambah lagi tanya sa yang bikin stress..what the heck!! I've told him few times why i decided to resigned last time tapi balik balik juga he talked about that. Dan yang paling sa panas, sa sms panjang berjela jela he only replied me with smiley face.. Goshhhhhhh! i really want to jump over the cliffs...

Subject : Korean

Chingudeul annyeonghaseyo! Eoseooseyo ? Translation : Hello guys! How are you today? :D
*Trip pandai korea laa kenen..* Well, i learn it using Google translate. Idk if it's really accurate translate but still i enjoy learning the language.

Cerita Easter's Eve

11:00pm
I'm about to get ready to go to sleep cuz we're going to church early in the morning for Easter's Mass when suddenly bapa said he felt uncomfortable mostly his chest. I assumed that it was his gastric again so i gave him warm water to makes him feel better and offered him a milk but he refused. I sat besides him and try to gave him massages on his chest sebab bapa cakap bukan gastric dengan harapan dia akan merasa lebih baik. He laid on his bed  and i went back to my bedroom upstairs. I thought, i could be sleep then but bapa called me again and asked to be admit to hospital. I told Imon to get ready as i am grabbed my wallet, phones, sweater and my scarf (just in case he'll be admitted) also my earphone and my latest vampy's novel :)

11:30pm
We arrived at Kota Marudu's hospital and headed to Emergency Unit. Luckily, the nurse attendant saw us outside and he came to help. Bapa pucat sudah that time and his hand is getting cool. Aduiii, punya sa risau. Joshua ( the male nurse ) gave bapa the gastric medicine and do some regular examines. He took bapa's blood for a blood test too. They let bapa rehat after kena ambil darah and gantung a bag of water.. Balik-balik lagi si bapa ni mengeluh sakit. And me? Sa rasa macam mau pengsan saja dalam tu ER..Bau ubat buat sa macam mau sakit, pening dan sa rasa mau muntah juga. (that's why, sa tak boleh jadi nurse ;p )

12:40am
Joshua called and told me that it was only a gastric and no need to worry too much. The blood's test done ok and bapa's jantung also good..They wouldn't warded him so we can take bapa home and rest. Baru la sa rasa lega and mau cepat-cepat keluar dari tu ER.. Joshua also gave me a description and asked me to pick the medicines tomorrow morning..He sempat lagi joking to bapa '' jangan lagi makan tu bosou arr..itu la yang bikin dugal angkol tu..'' and si bapa dengan selamba menjawab '' sa buang laitu bosou tu.." hehehe...

1:20am
We arrived home and bapa terus p buang bosou dia..hahhaa..ngam la tu. Plus, teda juga kami minat makan tu bosou..wuwuuwu..bukan keminatan sebab itu bosou bakas...tehehhee.. Now, bapa suda tidur and sa pun tidak lagi berapa susah hati. Hope everything ok la after ni..Bapa, please don't get sick again..Dear God, please give bapa a good healthy..

Guys, it's 2:30am now..i have to sleep or else Imon kasi tinggal sa later..

Alleluia! Alleluia!
Happy Easter to all Christian..blessing and peace will be with you  (^_^)

Lotsa Love,xoxo

Well, this is not about ghost or vampire or something..but i've been dreaming of this one particular person for 3 night in a row and it's terribly hurt me. I don't know why but that's what i felt..I know, i don't have to feel distracted by dream but what am i suppose to do when it's keep coming interfered my sleep?Goshhhhh!!! Am i being punish? Everytime i woke up, i caught myself crying.. =_=

I've talked to my bestfriend about the dreams and he suggested me to go asking for forgiveness. Whattttt?!! Why should i? I'm not the one whom to be blame. Terus dia cakap.."sa tau..tapi macamana pun ko mesti minta maaf.bukan susah ba minta maaf..sa suruh ko minta maaf sama dia bukan sebab ko buat salah tapi bila ko minta maaf, dia pun akan minta maaf juga. Berdamai dengan meminta maaf dan memaafkan..itula yang buat kamu tenang and you'll forgot all the pains eventually. Forgiveness will heal you both..trust me.." Tapi sa masih tidak puas hati..Dia cakap lagi, "All you need is forgiveness dear..go and you'll be okay..All this time, you keep a hatred in your heart..that's why your past keep haunting you. I believes he facing the same problems as yours.." And i saw the truth in his words.. Hmmmm, i'll try later..Hopefully it's work..

:(( I just got sms from penyupenyu and when i read it, feels like i want to throw away my phone. Why bother texting me kalu sent 1 huruf seja?bikin sa tambah marah..huhhh!! Don't wait for a reply cuz i won't!! Better i go to sleep...

Good night bloggies..till next post yah. xoxo

Sent from my Sony Ericsson Xperia neo V

Hi you..eheeee...selamat datang kembali! ;p Macam yakin ja baa ada orang baca..uhuuu..adaka pembaca?

Weekend again kan?weeee...pity me! It's like an ages suda ni tida jumpa shopping mall.. =.= Tapi, never mind laa..I'm not goin to complaint on how boring my weekend is but as i said in my previous entry, i will continue to complete the story..Harap-harap teda la yang meluat @ mau muntah baca ni..huuuuuu